teamrocketing:

*knocks you out with a calculator* bet you weren’t counting on that

(via tipslip)

datkarkatass:

the-stars-descend:

the-stars-descend:

You’re living, you occupy space, and you have mass.

You know what that means?

You matter

this is the most inspirational pun i have ever seen

(via photofilmgirl)

basicallybryophytes:

womanofthewood:

Sinking into a wall of green velvet

mmm how good is that

(Source: mystic-dreaming, via shadowrawrs)

Timestamp: 1402740892

potatoandotherwise:

in math today my teacher asked what makes a number perfect and I said its dazzling personality and she almost kicked me out

(via venndigo)

mydrunkkitchen:

montagemode:

roachpatrol:

oliviawhen:

A solid way to accept someone’s feelings.

i’m gonna die still laughing at this

I gleefully showed this to at least four people and nobody got the joke so

My method

(via venndigo)

Timestamp: 1402740802

rlyhigh:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing

(Source: abadeerzs, via venndigo)

Timestamp: 1402740758

jaredsadalecki:

jaredsadalecki:

the boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen

image

he sent me the meme

(Source: captainevqns, via illalwayslovesherlock)

Timestamp: 1402740612